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An informative yet amusing look at the daily trials and tribulations at UPC

By Mick Underhill, Oct 29 2014 06:50PM

Well this past fortnight has certainly been one of ups and downs…..on the down side, worse than hearing ‘man down’ in battle the gentle mutterings and ever panicky blaspheming of “internet down” up and down the halls of UPC Towers.

“It can’t be…just turn it off and on again”….


“I’ve done that, it’s still the same”.

“Really? Are you sure? Check the phone line….oh! That’s dead too! Shit! This is serious!”

“Can you just phone the BT helpline, there’s a poppet?”

What could be simpler than that…..well life is never simple is it? Well here in deepest, darkest Somerset there is scant mobile signal and both our networks require the internet for signal boosts! So after many calls and cut offs to the scripted call centre somewhere distant we finally got our equipment malaise reported….the engineer will be with you ‘toute suite’. Toute suite came and went. Twitter trolling @BTCare ensued, frenzied calls to the increasingly unhelpful and ironically named helpline increased in frequency. Mutterings were now shoutings and herrrumphings.

Blaspheming was now reaching levels to be at home in the NAAFI queue. At one point I was sat for 6 hours in the porch waiting for the engineer to call ‘within 6 hours’ (yes, you read that right) to rearrange their failure to make the original appointment. BT Customer Care was failing in gargantuan chunks. Its not our fault said they….our line checks show its your equipment failure…it’ll cost you £129.99. I don’t care just come and fix it we collectively sobbed in unison


It seems Toute Suite is BT speak for 12 days.


Credit where credit was due, on their eventual arrival, the Openreach chappies were brilliant…they were polite, apologetic and most importantly of all got on an fixed the technical malaise, they even go the Trumpton-like hoist elevating to add to the village fete spectacle of the repair…..which as it turned out was ivy growing in the box on the post in the street. So whatever the checks were that pointed the finger of blame at our door they were amiss.


So here we are. Phoneline fixed, broadband pumping out a not massive 3.5Mb download speed….yes 3.5Mb. Somerset problems.


So to the Ups….(nerd alert)


Up 1 – delivery of the new iPhone 6 – I now get phone coverage, where once I didn’t! I can now do business like emails, website updating, accounting, social media buffering etc from my phone, the bigger, sharper screen goes someway to offsetting my ever failing eyesight, the camera is amazing, some great quality photographs taken on a recent site visit! But listen to this folks….I even have an app which allows me to update my Asta Powerproject programmes! Which Segway’s me nicely into Up 2….


(massive construction planner type nerd alert)


Up 2 – I have downloaded the latest upgrade for Asta Powerproject – release 12.5.01 (build 27) no less. Switching on is like the first time you had Sky TV in the early 1990’s. The concept is familiar….certain bits feel like the old friends they have become but they are dressed in amazing new trendy clothes! It’s very visual now, and you can even get it look even more like Primavera P6 than ever before….im not sure if that a good thing yet.


I have started my first programme today and I must say it feels very slick….easy to use – the ribbons of buttons very much like Microsoft office suite of programmes and what is on the screen looks very neat colourful and above all easy to follow…..I particularly like the hierarchy appearance, I like the tabs for easy access between programmes when you have a few open at once…..no more Excel spreadsheets for line of balance programmes…..better cross functionality with Primavera P6….find and replace….I am really enjoying the v12.5 experience so far and things should be even better soon once I have finished playing, interfunctionality with my iPad on site visits to report progress means I won't be finished playing for some time! Lets hope my clients see an improvement in what I can produce for them.


It’s like 12 days without broadband never happened…..kinda!



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